F*CK NORMAL

My Self-Acceptance journey started 12yrs ago. The day I found out my life would, once again, change forever. The day I found out I was pregnant with my third and final child. I was 30yrs old and FINALLY starting over. This wonderful, God-given news threw me into hysteria, and on a path that I wouldn’t change for the world.

Halloween day, of 2019 I visited a webinar about PTSD, and was introduced to Complex PTSD, which was a game-changer for me. The presenter introduced the class to PTSD as, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder effects individuals who have suffered from a trauma and has one or more of the following symptoms: nightmares, flashbacks, depression, feeling ‘on-edge’, being triggered with the onset of stress-induced symptoms, without prompting. CPTSD: Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – Effects individuals who’ve been exposed to long-term trauma with the additional symptoms.

This class was a great introduction of what trauma is. Trauma is not easy. It is one of the toughest things to EVER have to deal with and all humans experience it! Society teaches a plethora of ways to manage the symptoms of trauma, but not necessarily how to fix them. If you continue to push all that pain down it will only cause it to grow into a big, uncontrollable monster. And we all know, an unchecked issue often causes problems. How do you fix them? You fix them by healing. You fix them by 1. Changing your Mindset, and 2. Committing yourself to the process of healing, constantly.

Mastering your mindset is key, but what does this mean? Not a single person does anything it’s brain/mind hasn’t commanded for it to do. Everyone experiences a belief cycle in every thought you have. It’s intrinsic. Can you change intrinsic? I don’t know. That’s what we’re finding out! What I do know is that every thought is apart of a belief cycle and once you have control over your thoughts, and beliefs, you will have more control on which action you take, and what feedback you gather.

This is the Belief Cycle. It’s pretty self-explanatory. One leads into another in an never-ending cycle. Each step is dependent upon its last. This cycle helps shape your life. Understanding this cycle gives you real control over your life, and can work either for you, or against you. Take a moment and look over the diagram above.

It’s multi-focal, and every-changing. *Scenario* You walk past a fruit bowl at work…A thought: There is an apple. … Your feelings about, said apple, will determine what actions you take with the apple that you see. Your experience of past apples, and whatever experience arises from, said apple, has or will determine your beliefs about apples, which then and/or will effect your thoughts here on out.

BOOM!

Once you understand: you don’t like apples because: when you were younger you lost a tooth after biting into that delicious fruit, and once that red vixen deceived you, you’ve never been able to trust the satisfying crunch again! You can look past that, and eat the apple as the good ol’ doctor recommends. And just like that, you can intrinsically learn that apples aren’t as bad as you remembered them at age 5, thus maturing as you age instead of stagnantly living with so many loose/frayed ends. Eventually, you’ll become the YOU you create instead of the you who was created. It will take time…Boo-Fucking-Hoo, Everything takes time. I am convinced, the only way for change to occur is by working constantly on your mental-health, gaining momentum until your mindset is changed. Most people quit b/c they don’t consider the long term, wanting the effects now. Be patient with yourself. Results will come with consistent effort. Think turtle-like… slow and steady.

Emerging,

Nix