F*CK NORMAL

I’ve never in my life, been so excited about a year. 2025:

365 Days

12 Months

24 Pay periods

1/2 a car paid off

My 22nd year in Missouri

My 2nd Spring and Summer in the state capitol, and my 3rd Fall and Winter

My 42nd year on good ole planet earth

A 20yo

An 18yo

A 12yo

A 2yo Bully

A 1yo Frenchie

The 2nd Anniversary with my love, concurrent with my second year of stability.

My fiancé, Nathaniel, made me watch Rent the other day. I had never watched it before and never understood societies strong feelings about the movie and/or play. I’ve found: One either loves it, or hates it. Often, I’d feel left out or embarrassed whenever I was the only one in the room not laughing or finishing some song that had to do with it. I’ve been caught in the middle of debates between friends, missed questions during trivia nights, and have often missed jokes made by some late-night talk show host because of my cluelessness. I’ve heard 525,600 min throughout my lifetime and never listened to the words… until today.

For those of you in the same boat as me, Rent was a movie and a famous play in the 80’s. It is a controversial piece due to the liberated views of the characters. The movie made it’s debut during the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in America. The meaning behind the story is you only have one life, what are you going to do with it? There are 525,600 min in a year. What choices will you make.

How will you measure your time? The song continues with: ‘In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights? In inches, in miles, in laughter or in strife? In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or the way that she died?’ I have no idea how I measure a year, because until this year I had no control over them. Today, though, I am writing in my favorite #2 position of my bed, in my pajamas, after I spent the morning painting while high. *This Is My Dream Life*

I am living the dreams of a much meeker woman. I finally feel accomplished and grown. I am officially a middle-aged American woman living in the suburbs with my 2.5 kids. I am a healthy statistic!

My mind is blown.

A year ago I had lost everything. I was homeless, with no car, no job, and no children. I had some clothes, my boyfriend and a puppy. Today we VERY difficultly turned down $300,000 from a home lender because we want to buy the house of our dreams in a year. Right now, we have everything lined up to do so. THIS is how I’m measuring my year. I love. In smiles. In enjoyment. In Doings. In Happiness. In achievements and accomplishments. I am actually building my year, instead of just surviving it.

This year we emerge!

Healing is Life,

Nix